Archive for ‘just stuff’

October 14th, 2011

some me-ness

I realize that most of my posts are 99% about baby (with a baby like that, can you blame me?), and since my narcissism hasn’t completely taken over yet: a post about me, not baby.

Ten things most people don’t know about me:

  1. I like to draw. I’m completely untalented in this area which is why I don’t tell/show people. It’s just something I like to do.
  2. I bite my nails. It’s my most hated habit.
  3. I like to sing and dance. Ditto to number one.
  4. I regularly have bad dreams. Usually about death (never me, usually someone else I love dearly). I consider myself an extremely happy person, but I have dying dreams. Matt has superhero action dreams, I wish I had those.
  5. [I have nothing.]

Okay, so that was only four things most people don’t know about me, and they took me almost half an hour to come up with. I realize that I could just go and edit it to say, “Four things most people don’t know about me” and be done with it, but I’m not.

My thing about happiness:

I’m an incredibly to-the-core happy person. I always have been. I think if a surgeon opened me up he’d find smiley faces on all my organs. I’ve had unhappy moments, sure, but I’m categorized as a happy person. I think it’s one of those natural characteristics I was born with. No matter what my life circumstances could have been, I would still be a happy person. How can you be born with happiness? you ask. Let me share.

Happiness isn’t a reality we live in, it’s something we are.

I think that people go about being happy all wrong. People assign happiness to events, accomplishments, and future hopes and dreams. While all those things bring us happy feelings, they aren’t themselves “happiness.” People don’t think they can be happy unless there is nothing unpleasant in their lives, it’s simply never going to happen. Happiness is a frame of mind. We want external things to happen and then we will be happy, only we won’t. Happy happens inside, not out.

And that’s all the philosophy I have for now, folks.

May 2nd, 2011

things that make me uncomfortable

  • fire
  • spiders
  • being in the bathroom in the dark
  • giant bunny costumes
  • clown costumes
  • people coming up behind me
  • being home alone late at night
  • awkward strangers who get really close to my baby and say things like, “I could just take you home with me” or “I want to eat him all up” or “I can’t wait until I have a baby”

Things that make me go gooey inside:

April 4th, 2011

my secret to happiness

I estimate that about 90% of the time I’m awake, my brain is writing. Something. Anything. Usually a blog post that won’t be published. If I can’t sleep at night, it’s because my brain is writing and not sleeping; describing my day, telling a funny story, scripting a conversation that I’ll never have with the mean store clerk. I wonder what other people think about; what their thoughts sound like in their heads.

I have a small, but growing, collection of notebooks. In my red, leather notebook I jot down notes from church, things people say that inspire me, and things I want to study later. In my black notebook I write my musings, things I want to remember, and recipes to try later. In my San Fransisco notebook (a notebook Matt got me when he was in San Fransisco and I was home being lonely) I write the one-sentence wisdom I hear, the words that come when I think of the long-lost days of my childhood, and way too many to-do lists. There are blue, cream, and purple notebooks filled with yet more thoughts.

Sometimes when I flip through the old pages of my notebooks, I surprise myself: Did I write that? Other times, I’m left confused: What was I thinking about when I wrote that?

“Tastes like July.” It’s a single line written on one of the pages written in November 2009. What tastes like July?

A few good one-liners:

We’ll do everything in the world to be happy, except change.
If we’re both the same, one of us is unnecessary.
When we stop learning, we abbreviate our potential.

An Ashley-original poem (I do NOT write poetry, so this is practically the only one scribbled in any of my notebooks):

knocking, knocking, knocking
wiggles and squeaks
a little thumb drumming
gives me the sneaks

Writing makes me happy.



February 27th, 2011

I’m crazy for…


I crazy crave chocolate. Every day, all the time. Before David was born, I liked chocolate just fine, but I didn’t go nuts for it. Ever since I brought David home from the hospital, I’ve been craving chocolate like the female cliche says I should. Matt indulges my cravings, so life is good.


Lately, I always feel like eating tacos. Any kind of taco will do; beef tacos, chicken tacos, pork tacos. Mmmm. I think I could eat some kind of taco every night for dinner and be perfectly happy.

Dried Cranberries

One of my favorite snacks is a handful of Ocean Spray dried cranberries. All dried cranberries are fine, but I’ve decided that Ocean Spray cranberries really are the best. I’m almost addicted.

Wheat Thins

I love Wheat Thins. You can eat any thing with a Wheat Thin; cheese (a personal favorite), Nutella, fruit slices, veggies slices.

Fruit & Vegetables

Eating raw fruit and vegetables completes my day, and they make me feel so good; way better than snacking on candy.

October 5th, 2010


What have I been wasting my time doing the last nine months?! I should have been learning how to crochet, dang it. If I knew how to crochet, I could make adorable baby hats.

So…it’s 4:34 am. I’ve been up since 2:20 am. I had to go to the bathroom. Then I got the sneezes (which required me to constantly blow my nose and kept me awake). Then I got heartburn. Then I got thirsty. Then I wasn’t tired.

Now I’m browsing the internet looking at random baby stuff, because that’s clearly the best way for me to spend the wee hours of the morning.

July 3rd, 2010


  • I don’t like candy very much; I used to hide it under my bed in a box.  Most of the chocolate stuff can stay, though.

Tangent: Did any one else get a bunch of this candy at Halloween?

(Sorry, it’s the only picture I could find) I preferred getting pencils or rulers to getting a handful of … whatever that is in my Trick-or-Treat bag. Yuck-y.

  • I don’t really like fireworks either. Or loud music. Or anything loud in general. I know, little miss party-pooper over here.
  • Fire makes me uncomfortable, and I go through a ridiculous amount of matches whenever I try to light something.
  • I haven’t the slightest idea how to use a lawnmower or drive a “stick” or do anything remotely handy. My fix-it, women-can-do-anything-men-can mother would be ashamed if she really knew how much I depend on Matt for basic living–so, let’s just keep that between us, okay?
  • Spiders freak me out. Bugs don’t bother me, spiders of any size give me the willies (again, my squish-spiders-with-my-bare-hands mother would be ashamed).
  • I either sleep through or completely forget most movie plots.

So, it’s the Fourth of July. While I appreciate what the holiday stands for and agree that it should be celebrated, Matt and I don’t make a big deal about it. For example:

Our first Fourth of July, we went to Idaho Falls and bought curtains that we didn’t hang for over three weeks (because we were moving).

Last Fourth of July, Matt worked on his computer and I learned Morse Code.

This Fourth of July, Matt worked on his computer and I organized a closet (we also went to a movie, but it had nothing to do with it being a holiday).

I know, we sound like really boring people. I promise we aren’t (mostly). To everyone else, the Fourth of July is the quintessential summer holiday– family, camping, swimming, eating lots of food, parades, and fireworks. To us, it means a day to ourselves to do whatever and going to bed listening to other people light fireworks.

We are grilling hamburgers tomorrow, so we aren’t totally lame.

April 24th, 2010

my thoughts exactly

April 21st, 2010

when is the next gift-giving holiday?

In case any of you were thinking about getting me a gift:

This is a potato masher. A really cool looking potato masher.

This is what they call a “mix ‘n chop.”

For all the times I only want the core out. It has an eject button.

Actually, I just want the melon.

Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy with only this, a 50 piece cake decorating caddy.

March 11th, 2010

just…you know, nothing


  • When I get bored in class (so, often) I write the alphabet backwards. Not just ZYX etc., but I write it in reverse order with backwards letters too. I’m getting pretty good at it. When I’m done writing it, I flip my paper over and squint and it looks like I just wrote it normally. The classmates who sit near me must think I’m insane. I think I might up the difficulty and write the alphabet in reverse order, with backward letters, left handed. Yes, I see that this is a completely worthless activity, but…I do it anyway and enjoy it.
  • I have spent time (exactly how much time I am too embarrassed to share) on an adoption website reading the profiles of different couples and deciding who, if I had a child to give up for adoption, I would choose. I think this activity is even more of a waste of time than the first.
  • I really want a portable drinking fountain. I know what you’re thinking, “Duh Ashley, it’s called a water bottle.” But, no, water bottles aren’t the same as drinking fountains. I want something that will spray cold water at my face at the push of a button. One that my germs won’t have to fight other germs to occupy. One that I can just carry with me for all the times I get so thirsty and just want a spritz of projectile water. I even want it to make the humming sound after I drink a lot.
  • I like to press all the buttons on my phone with my thumbs. I like the way they feel when they’re being smooshed, and I like the way it sounds.

And a picture to wrap things up:

March 4th, 2010

just because

When you’re falling asleep, do you scare yourself when you move your hand or something? I do too, and then I feel really dumb. I did it twice today, and one of the times, I wasn’t even falling asleep.

I finally made the waffles. They didn’t look like the picture though, because I used a different recipe and our waffle iron is round. Still satisfying. Oh, and I’m not angry anymore, just tired; the “sleeping more” bit really backfired.

I should be studying for a test I have tomorrow, but clearly I have better things to do right now.

In class on Tuesday, I passed an anonymous note to a girl informing her that her pants were unzipped. I was proud of myself because I don’t particularly like this girl, but even I’m not mean enough to let her go through a whole day with unzipped pants. I felt my heart grow just a little bit.

I’m in the library computer lab on campus. Right now, as I type, there is a very elderly man walking up and down the aisle  between the computers. Back and forth he goes. I wonder what he’s doing. He just went to ask a library aid for help. [Waiting to find out what he needs help with...] Oh, poor guy didn’t know how to respond to an email. That’s rough.