Archive for ‘mail’

November 14th, 2009

a series of questionable events

It all began in June.

I received an exclusive offer for Sunset Magazine. They were offering me a deal for 83% off their usual cover price; a one year subscription for only $10. The catch? It was a senior citizen offer. I thought it was funny that I was getting senior citizen offers. (I kept the offer, and I’ve been using it as my bookmark ever since.)

A few months later I received an exclusive life insurance offer. I threw it away and didn’t think much of it. Another one came, again I threw it away.

Today, I received another life insurance offer. A “Lifeplan 50+” offer (for people over the age of 50). This is the kind letter they wrote me:

Dear Ashley, (they even put my name in)

If this were a number of years ago when you were age 30 (I’m not even 30 yet, let alone “a number of years ago”), I wouldn’t be writing you with the same sense of urgency. But the fact is…

Back at age 30, you could expect to qualify for all the life insurance you wanted. It was almost automatic. All that may have changed now. That’s because… (again with the weird ellipsis thing)

Along with age may come greater risk of a disqualifying health problem. Cost alone could rob you of your ability to protect your loved ones in the years ahead (I have a feeling that a few of the “loved ones” they’re referring to, aren’t born yet). Ashley….

If you have any catching up to do in order to provide adequate coverage for today’s higher final expenses and your family’s security, it’s best not to wait. Before long, you could even find yourself totally locked out of additional life insurance due to price or a health issue. Apply now for LIFEPLAN 50+ from (the name)(yet another unnecessary ellipsis) the affordable life insurance for people age 50 and over.”

Then they list “five reasons why LIFEPLAN 50+ is the right choice for people age 50 and over.” It’s really sweet…

The thing is…I don’t turn 50 for…another…28 years or so…

I don’t…know what I did…to make people think I’m a lot older t than I am…I only have one wrinkle…over my judging right brow…

They have my name, they spell it right (which is the hard part), all the offers are from different companies/organizations, and they all think I should be concerned about my age… Hmmmm I wonder what’s going on…

I think I need to do some research to see what my social security number has been doing without me…

July 25th, 2009

first things first: the twinkies

I was reading a blog one afternoon and wandered over to the comments. A movie line was quoted and a contest started: whoever could name the movie the quote came from won a box of Twinkies. A week went by and I was reading the blog again and noticed that no one had guessed the right movie yet. I Googled the line and The Burbs (a movie I had never heard of) came up, which I promptly posted as a comment. About a week later I received a box of Twinkies from a stranger living in Sugar Land, Texas (my favorite part). Thank you Google. I thought to myself, “If I had a blog, I would blog about this,” starting a series of “if I had a blog” thoughts. Proudly, almost a year later, I’m blogging about it.


About the Twinkies.  As a child, Twinkies were not the snack of choice given to me by my mother, so I only had them at friends’ houses. I loved them. As an adult, I was very excited to get such a fun snack in the mail, however, after the box was empty I didn’t rush to the store to get more. In fact, I haven’t had a Twinkie since and that’s okay–they were better when I was younger.