Archive for ‘funny things’

August 16th, 2013

post #210

I spend a lot of time blogging about the kidlets–as you know–so I wanted to take a break from their cuteness and share a little about myself.

A few really honest things about me:

1. Hate me if you want to, but I’m not really fond of animals.

2. I’m lazy. I’ve been trying to deny it and pretend otherwise my whole life, but I’m lazy. I can hear some of your eyes rolling, but this is about me being honest, and if I’m honest, I’m lazy. Not the sit-on-the-couch-all-day lazy (okay, maybe some days), more the I’m-always-looking-for-a-shortcut lazy.

3. I’m motivated by results, so when I do things I like to do A LOT of things all at once. Thus, I seem like a really productive, non-lazy person. Fooled ya.

4. I’m vain. Another thing I’ve been trying to pretend I’m not. If there’s a reflective surface, you better believe I’ve already looked at myself in it. I wear make up to take out the trash.

5. I’m a really bad dancer. BAD. I’ve been told many times that I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld. Not growing up watching the show, I didn’t understand the reference, and then I watched it on YouTube. People aren’t wrong.

6. Today was the first time I showered since Sunday. It’s currently Friday (reference #2 for more information). I promise I wasn’t too gross.

7. I hate crying, going to the bathroom, and the smell of raw fish.

8. Every night before I go to sleep I always think about my kids.

9. I make up random, nonsensical songs, pet names and expletives.

10. I would still play with Barbies if it were socially acceptable. Yes, I’m counting down the days until Lilly is old enough to play with the two hidden in my craft stuff.

August 12th, 2013

say cheese!

Clear back in April (I know, I know forever ago, sigh) I was trying to unpack after we moved, and David was getting into everything and driving me nuts. I found an old camera, popped some batteries in, and told him to take pictures of his favorite things. He took a lot of pictures of his fingers, but he also took some cute ones. It’s fun to see things from his perspective.

David's pics

February 3rd, 2013

I have a problem

You might be thinking, “What’s the problem with that?” The problem is that all of those lovelies came from my bathroom drawer. I have more in my purse. In my other purse. In the old diaper bag. In my coat. In my other coat. In the kitchen. By my sewing machine. In the car. I even keep one permanently in my suitcase in case I forget to bring lipgloss on a trip (which, as you’ve read, is impossible). I even thought while writing this post about admitting I have a lipgloss/chapstick addiction and listing off all those places, I forgot a place: I need one in Matt’s jeep. You know, just in case.

There isn’t a day lipgloss can’t improve.

The problem is, the chapstick I use most is in Matt’s pocket.

January 25th, 2013


Some of the little moments that make me smile.

The week before Christmas I was in the kitchen doing dishes while David and Lilly ‘played’ in the front room. Lilly started fussing out of tiredness and boredom, so David went over and laid down by her. Soon I was overhearing him explain to her that monsters and dinosaurs are only on TV (a similar explanation that I gave David not too long ago …). I thought it was sweet and funny that he thought she was crying because she was scared of monsters.

One night while getting ready for bed David was throwing a mega fit because we told him he couldn’t read more books because it was time for bed. I went in his room and pulled him onto my lap, and explained that he was crying because his body was saying he was tired and needed to go to sleep. We talked about it for a little bit, and then he suddenly sits up and thinks for a minute. Then he tells me with his little finger in front of his face, “My body says I need to read ONE more book!” Well played, buddy. Well played.

David found a box of “Mom’s” granola bars and really wanted one, it was lunchtime so I told him if he was hungry we needed to go make lunch. He asked for “one Mom’s ‘nola bars?” and I again told him that he couldn’t have “one” of Mom’s granola bars because we were going to eat lunch. He beamed at me and said, “Okay, TWO Mom’s ‘nola bars?” He does the same thing with books and movies, etc; ask for “one” more, when we say no, he’ll ask for TWO more. Silly kid.

David has learned the word “yet” but doesn’t use it right. One of his favorite uses: “It’s too late to go to bed yet!”

[Side note: One of our neighbors is singing at the TOP of his lungs. I can't tell where it's coming from ... it's very distracting ...]

David has started kissing his own boo-boos better. It’s pretty cute, people.

When David helps us say prayers, he’s started to throw his own things in too. Soon he’ll be saying prayers without any prompts at all. He likes to be thankful for Lilly, trains, “cereal time,” and outside.

I LOVE that they love each other.

October 6th, 2012


That’s how David often greets Lilly: “LillyLillyLilly.” (As he climbs on top of her to smother her. I mean, ‘hug’ her.) It’s caught on, I find myself calling her that more and more. We also call her Lils, Lilly Billy, and Lilly Bean. And Cute, because she’s cute.

People ask how David likes having a baby sister. He still crazy loves her. She’s starting to like him, too.























Lilly sitting alone on the couch being cute with her hands.













David finds her. Man, I love her facial expressions.













David pulling her off the couch by her ankles.


September 26th, 2012

chitter chatter

I have several posts that need posting, but I wanted to write down some funny things David’s been up to lately before I forget them.

When David holds up his toy camera, he says, “Cheese stick!” Some people say, “Say cheese!” when they take pictures, he’s just adapted it to something he understands better.

Instead of saying, “No, thank you,” David says, “No, please.”

On Matt’s birthday, he walked around saying, “Happy day! Happy day, Daddy!” Instead of, “Happy birthday, Daddy!”

His favorite phrases include:

  • “What’s that noise, Mommy?”
  • “Who’s that?” He assumes I know everyone, everywhere.
  • “What’s that?”
Since we’re always holding things up and asking him questions about it (“What color is the car?” etc), now David will make noises and then ask, “What’s that?” wanting us to guess what animal/truck/airplane/train sound he was making. It’s a pretty fun game.

Any time David talks on his toy phone (or anything he pretends is a phone), he talks to Sir Topham Hatt (from the Thomas the Tank Engine stories). Their conversations consist of “Yes sir,” “Okay sir,” “Bye sir,” and “Amen, sir.”

He’s pretty good at joining our adult conversations by chipping in at appropriate times with, “Oh, right,” or “I see,” or “Exactly,” or “Uh huh.”

Some of his books he can “read” now because he has each page memorized; or sing along to the songs they play.

He knows most shapes and colors now and is pretty obsessed with triangles; he sees triangles everywhere we go and points them out to me. His favorite breakfast is “triangle toast” (a slice of toast cut diagonally).

I was telling David that his shirt said, “I love my Papa.” He scoffed at me and said, “No, I love Mommy!” He said it in the sweetest way. He loves Papa, too and talks about him EVERY day since Nana and Papa visited after Lilly’s birth. Every day, multiple times. Every day for ¬†almost three months I’ve heard, “Nana Papa go in black car.”

When David starts getting bored in the car, we sing “The Wheels on the Bus.” When he sings at home, every song has a very enthusiastic, “All through the town!” We were babysitting Lindsy’s six-month-old son, Klev, a few days ago, and when Klev would get fussy, David would go over and talk to him; ask him, “What are you doing, Klev?” A few times David went over and started singing the alphabet to him. David’s alphabet went a lot like, “ABC … truck … monkeys … H … Q … airplane … XYZ … Next … All through the town!!”

David has started really playing; his imagination bloomed overnight and now everything explodes (no idea where he got that), is an airplane, talks, etc. He’s also really friendly right now. David often says goodbye to trucks in the parking lot (or calls out very dramatically, “Nooo! Come back truck, come back!”). When he sees an airplane flying outside, he reaches up and pretends to grab it from the sky. He thinks every bug is a ladybug and has conversations with them, “How are you doing, ladybug?” “Sorry, ladybug.”

When he trips, he’ll immediately call out, “Fine!” before I can ask.

If Matt or I kneel on the floor David will run up behind us and wrap his arms around our necks and ask for a ride. He calls them “camel rides.” I think it’s hilarious that they’re not horsey rides.

And some pictures he took of us:


August 29th, 2012

big mess

Entertaining a toddler in a 900 square foot apartment when you have a baby to take care of requires some creativity. One of my favorite things to do this summer is stick David out on the balcony with balls, bubbles, water balloons, sidewalk chalk, buckets of water, or anything else I think up. David was outside coloring with sidewalk chalk and water balloons this afternoon. I looked up to find him rolling around on his drawings, so I laughed and snapped some pictures (the shapes, car, and people I drew, before anyone thinks I have some prodigy).


After seeing it was on the back of his shirt, up his legs, on his arms, and in his hair, I went to run him a bath.

I really should have seen this coming:


I came back to him saying, “Oh no! Big mess, Momma! Day-did big mess!” In the time it took me to run him a bath he’d found the potting soil and made mud.

Lilly was clean, hanging out on my bed making bubbles.

August 13th, 2012

knock, knock

We’re getting new neighbors today. I know this because I was in our front room doing some kickboxing and suddenly remembered that our building is getting power washed today and I needed to take the wreath off our door and get our doormat, so I quickly stepped out and was shaking off our mat before bringing it in when our new neighbors came out their front door. Not a great way to meet your neighbors: sweaty in your husband’s t-shirt and sweatpants you can’t quite fit into yet because you had a baby six weeks ago. I said, “hi” and quickly came back inside only to realize that I’m wearing my sweatpants backwards. You might chuckle and think, “maybe they didn’t notice.” However, my sweatpants have pockets, drawstrings, and writing in the front; I’m pretty sure they noticed my backward pockets and drawstrings on my bottom. Why I didn’t notice much, much earlier I don’t know.

The last time I met new neighbors was almost as embarrassing. They were also moving in and I was in desperate need of some flour (it was one of those times when you start making something and realize partway through that you don’t have enough flour to finish and everyone you call isn’t home or doesn’t have flour either). So I sheepishly knocked on their door and asked if they had flour I could borrow. They did. We met and I tried not to make it awkward, talked for a bit and came home. I knocked on their door 10 minutes later because I didn’t borrow enough flour. So embarrassing.

The first time I met our neighbors before that I was standing outside our front door wearing my rubber gloves and holding a brown bag with an avocado and chocolate covered raisin in it and talking on the phone to my friend about how I had no idea where the chocolate covered raisin came from, since we don’t buy or eat them. Why this was all happening outside, I don’t remember.

My neighbors must think I’m such a weirdo.

I promise I have it together.

July 30th, 2012

cookie monster

David has a Sesame Street book called Rosita and the Beanstalk. It’s basically Jack and the Beanstalk with Sesame Street monsters. David LOVES to read about the “monsters” and often takes the book to bed with him. In the monster version, Cookie Monster is the giant living at the top of the beanstalk.

A week or so ago, David was playing as usual in our apartment when our upstairs neighbors came home — loudly. David pointed at the ceiling and said, “Noises?” I told him that the noises were from the people living upstairs. Suddenly David lit up “Tookie Monster! Tookie Monster!”

He thinks Cookie Monster lives upstairs. It’s cute.

Apparently Cookie Monster listens to loud rap music. Not so cute.

July 27th, 2012

this, is David

Allow me to put a smile on your heart.