Dear Mr. Downstairs Neighbor,

I understand the boredom of being home sick and alone, but please change your music playlist back to what you were listening to on Saturday. Today’s choice is getting annoying now that we’ve listened to it for THREE hours, over and over again. Oh, and please let a song play all the way through. Just one. Please.

Since we’re talking, maybe we could discuss your daughter’s tantrums. I’m not sure if you’re aware or not, but birds in Mexico fly for cover when she starts her shrill screaming. While you can just turn your TV or music up louder to mask the noise, we’re going crazy upstairs. Just…FYI.

Also, could you please enunciate when you’re arguing with Mrs. Downstairs Neighbor? Since I have to listen to you argue, I’d like to know whose side I’m on.

I’ll try not to drop as many things on the floor or jump around as much.

—-Mrs. Upstairs Neighbor

PS Have you gone to see a doctor about that cough? And, you have a girly ringtone.