Dear Across-the-Cement Neighbors,

Please stop stomping up all three flights of stairs. Please pick up your suitcases when going down all three flights of stairs. Please close your door if you don’t want us looking in when we come out of our apartment. (Yes neighbor, we saw you in your underwear that one time. You thought you ran fast enough, but, alas, we saw anyway.) Please brush your teeth in your apartment. Please stop going in and out of your apartment repeatedly, slamming the door behind you each time–get what you need and leave, gently shutting the door behind you. Once.

Please stop stomping up all three flights of stairs, my dishes desperately need a break.

Thanks so much.

Your tired, very pregnant, has-no-where-else-to-be across-the-cement neighbor.

PS We spy on you through the peep-hole in our door.